She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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