question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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