Have you finally orgasmed yet?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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