..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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