we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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