I CAN MOONWALK!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
