My boss' voice literally gives me gas
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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