So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My vagina just recognized that song.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
