Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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