Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
