I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
