you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
