her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
