he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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