Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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