It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
