No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
