Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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