Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
