I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
