My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
