how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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