Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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