i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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