their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
