My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
