it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
