You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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