all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
ttyl tear gas
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
