she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
