her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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