Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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