This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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