you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
