As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This baby is an asshole
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
