How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I CAN MOONWALK!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
