Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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