I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
