My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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