Rock
Scissors
Fuck
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
