what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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