Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
