Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
