My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
