Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
