I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
