this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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