He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
