spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
