Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
