You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
