Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
