dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Gay?
German.
Pity.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
